Tag Archives: covenant

About Romans 6:23

Posted on by
Reply

Lately, I have read several references to Romans 6:23 in which it was apparent the author gleaned a far different message from this verse than I do.

Each time, I resisted the urge to try to explain my own understanding… mostly because that is not easily done in a Facebook comment.  So, I have decided to attempt to explain here.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)

For me, this much-loved and oft-quoted verse was one of the first scripture passages memorized as a child in Sunday School class right along with John 3:16.  I think that is true for many of us.

Perhaps the familiarity discourages paying close attention to what it says.  Perhaps explanations were given to us as children and we have simply accepted and internalized those explanations without really paying attention to what the words say.

So, I want to try to explain what this verse says to me and invite others to discuss what it means to you, and why.

I see this verse as very intentionally contrasting The Kingdom of Heaven versus the kingdom of darkness.  I see it as contrasting life under the old Adamic covenant with sin and death versus life in the new covenant in Jesus Christ.  I see this verse as a one sentence summary of what it means to be redeemed by Christ from the power of darkness.

 For the wages of sin is death…

This is what it means to serve the kingdom of darkness… to walk in the Adamic covenant with sin and death… to be enslaved by sin.

To quote a friend, “Sin will take you farther then you ever wanted to go, cost you more than you ever wanted to pay, and keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay.”

Sin enslaves.  Sin blinds.  Sin weakens our will and keeps us addictively coming back for more punishment.  Sin justifies injustice while blaming others for one’s own bad choices.  Sin kills trust and destroys relationships.

For the wages of sin is death…

Sin enslaves us, requires our servitude, demands we work hard in its service… then repays our service with death.

This is what it means to serve the kingdom of darkness… to serve sin.  It means a lifetime of enslavement reimbursed as death.

 … but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What a glorious contrast!

Through the redemptive work of Jesus Christ, we are offered the free gift of eternal life.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

It is a free gift, not something I have earned through my own works.  Only Jesus could accomplish my redemption and He did it for us.

Because I am redeemed by Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin.  I owe nothing to the kingdom of darkness… neither my works nor my life.  The chains of slavery are broken, and I am free to walk in newness of life.

 … but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Free to enjoy His gracious gift!  Free to bask in His love!  Free to love others as I am loved by Him!  Free to become who I was created to be… an image bearer of God!  Free to enjoy relationship with God, both now and through all eternity!

This is what it means to walk in the new covenant in Jesus Christ!

This is what Romans 6:23 means to me.

Now… a brief word about what it does NOT mean to me… but seems to mean to some people…

For the wages of sin is death…

This does NOT say God doles out death as punishment for sin.  On the contrary, it says sin repays our servitude with death.  Then, it goes on to tell us what God does in contrast to what sin does.

 … but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Sin reimburses our servitude with death.  In contrast, God offers us the free gift of eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Death and destruction are of the kingdom of darkness.  The Kingdom of Heaven is filled with light, life, love, hope, faith, and joy.

God does not condemn us to Hell.  God is working to deliver us from Hell.

Satan is our accuser.  Jesus is our advocate… and He has already paid the price of our redemption.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Glory!  What a Savior!

Your thoughts?

Obed’s Inheritance

Posted on by
Reply

By Simeon Solomon – Birmingham Museums and Art Gallery, Public Domain

Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses today that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and Mahlon. Moreover, I have acquired Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, to be my wife in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance, so that the name of the deceased will not be cut off from his brothers or from the court of his birth place; you are witnesses today.” All the people who were in the court, and the elders, said, “We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built the house of Israel; and may you achieve wealth in Ephrathah and become famous in Bethlehem. Moreover, may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah, through the offspring which the Lord will give you by this young woman.”

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife, and he went in to her. And the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed is the Lord who has not left you without a redeemer today, and may his name become famous in Israel. May he also be to you a restorer of life and a sustainer of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you and is better to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.”

Then Naomi took the child and laid him in her lap, and became his nurse. The neighbor women gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi!” So they named him Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David.  (Ruth 4:10-16)

The previous night, at the threshing floor, Ruth and Boaz conspired together to enact a daring plan to save and restore the family of Elimelech.  Ruth petitioned Boaz to marry her while simultaneously calling on him as kinsman-redeemer to her deceased father-in-law, Elimilech.  Ruth simultaneously appealed to, and expanded, two separate Israelite laws.

It was the role of a kinsman-redeemer to make sure land that had been sold was redeemed so it would remain in the family.  However, the family of Elimilech had ended.  Elimilech had died and his two sons, Mahlon and Chilion also died, leaving three childless widows.  No heirs remained for the family of Elimilech.  There was no family for whom the land should be redeemed.  It was an incredibly sad situation, but nothing could be done about it.

The levirate law was a separate law intended to ensure the continuance of a man’s family.  If a married man died leaving no heirs, the deceased’s brother was to marry the widow for the purpose of conceiving an heir to carry on the name of the deceased and inherit his property.  However, the levirate law only applied to brothers, not to more distant relatives.  So the levirate law did not apply to Boaz in this situation.

Moreover, Ruth was barren.  She had previously been married to Mahlon, son of Elimilech and Naomi.  However, Mahlon died, leaving Ruth childless.  There was no reason to believe Ruth could conceive and bear a child, since she had remained barren during the ten years of marriage to Mahlon.

Yet, that night at the threshing floor, Ruth proposed a daring plan to Boaz.  Appealing to Boaz as kinsman-redeemer, she proposed that he marry her for the purpose of bearing and raising an heir to the family of Elimilech.  The next morning, Boaz followed through with Ruth’s plan.  He redeemed the property of Elimilech to be inherited by a son they hoped would be born to Ruth by her marriage to Boaz.  Before the witnesses at the Bethlehem city gates, Boaz declared:

“You are witnesses today that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and Mahlon. Moreover, I have acquired Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, to be my wife in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance, so that the name of the deceased will not be cut off from his brothers or from the court of his birth place; you are witnesses today.”

Ruth and Boaz took a leap of faith by investing themselves in a risky plan with little hope of success.  They set out to save and restore the family of Elimilech… through a not-yet-conceived son to be born of a barren widow.  Everything hinged on the birth of a son to inherit Elimilech’s property and carry on his family name…a hoped for future heir who could redeem the family from the brink of annihilation.

Then God directly intervened.

And the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son.

God honored their faith.  God honored their sacrificial loving-kindness to Elimilech’s family and to his widow, Naomi.  God enabled Ruth to conceive and bear a son.

Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed is the Lord who has not left you without a redeemer today, and may his name become famous in Israel. May he also be to you a restorer of life and a sustainer of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you and is better to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.”

Then Naomi took the child and laid him in her lap, and became his nurse. The neighbor women gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi!” So they named him Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David.

Obed, the child born to Naomi by her barren widowed daughter-in-law, Ruth, conceived by Elimilech’s kinsman, Boaz, saved the family from annihilation!  He was “redeemer” and “restorer of life” to Naomi and to the family of her deceased husband.

And this family line…the lineage of this miracle child, Obed, became the lineage of King David!

Does the story of Obed have a ring of familiarity?  It should.

For it was through this same family lineage…the family of Obed… the family of King David… that Jesus, the long awaited Messiah, was born into this world.

Much like his ancestor Obed, Jesus was the hoped-for future heir… future redeemer… future restorer of life.

In the Garden of Eden, God promised a “seed of woman” who would redeem mankind.  Later, God promised Abraham all nations would be blessed through his seed; through his seed God would provide a sacrifice of redemption; and through his seed a new covenant with God would be enacted.

Jesus… Messiah… promised heir… promised redeemer… promised restorer of life… was born of a Virgin.  Much like his ancestor Obed, his conception was through God’s direct intervention in impossible circumstances.

Like Obed, the inheritance of Jesus was not through his biological father, but through his adopted father, Joseph.  Through Joseph, Jesus is heir to the throne of David, heir to Abraham’s inheritance, and heir to Adam’s covenant with God as ruler over all the earth.

The book of Ruth begins with death… the death of Elimilech and his sons… the death of the family of Elimilech.  The book continues as a story of whole-hearted covenant faithfulness… of going above and beyond covenant obligations to bless a covenant partner… of believing God can and will do the miraculous to redeem and restore life.  The book ends with the birth of a miracle baby with an assured inheritance to restore life to a dead family.

The book of Ruth is the gospel message in a nutshell.

The Bible begins with life and creation, but quickly moves to loss and death… death of the family of Adam… cut off from their godly inheritance through a treacherous covenant with sin and death.  The Old Testament continues as a story of God’s whole-hearted covenant faithfulness… of going above and beyond covenant obligations to bless His covenant partners… of promises of a coming Messiah who will redeem, deliver, and restore life to Adam’s heirs.  The New Testament opens with a recitation of the lineage of Jesus Christ… with the birth of a miracle baby with an assured inheritance over all the earth to restore life to all who believe in Him.

This is the Good News of Jesus Christ!

[For a more in-depth study of the book of Ruth, I recommend reading The Gospel of Ruth, by Carolyn Custis James]

Covenant Vows

Posted on by
Reply

Shortly after Israel’s great deliverance from Egypt, God made a covenant with the nation of Israel that He would be their God and they would be His people.

You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles’ wings, and brought you to Myself. Now then, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be My own possession among all the peoples, for all the earth is Mine; and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. (Exodus 19:4-6)

Notice the if…”if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant…”

Like most covenants, God’s covenant with the nation of Israel had conditions. Covenant conditions may take the form of terms (as in a written contract), vows (as in a marriage) or commandments (as between God and man).  The covenant conditions are the basis for the covenant relationship…they define the relationship agreed to in the covenant.  If the covenant terms are not kept…if the vows are violated…if the commandments are broken…the covenant is broken…it becomes null and void.

We see an example of this in Jeremiah 3:8 where God said:

And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also.

The Kingdom of Israel (comprised of the ten northern tribes of Israel) had so egregiously violated God’s commandments for so long that God finally divorced them, legally dissolved the covenant, and allowed them to be conquered and cease to exist as a people group. Today, scholars refer to them as “the ten lost tribes of Israel.”

In God’s covenant with Israel, the covenant terms were The Ten Commandments, which God spelled out immediately after saying He would make a covenant with Israel (Exodus 20:1-17). Later, God wrote The Ten Commandments (the covenant vows) in stone and they were placed inside the Ark of the Covenant.

One of the ancient customs associated with covenants was to write the covenant vows on paper, then roll the paper up in a tiny scroll and place it inside a locket worn as jewelry…similar to a charm worn today on a bracelet, necklace, or headband. Similarly, God instructed Israel to build the Ark of the Covenant in which the stone tablets containing The Ten Commandments were to be placed.  The covenant vows were placed inside the covenant box.

What about the New Covenant?

We know Jesus fulfilled the Old Covenant (both the Abrahamic Covenant and the Mosaic Covenant) on our behalf. We now reap the benefits of the old covenant when we enter into covenant with Jesus Christ.

But what are the conditions of the New Covenant?

Jesus clearly spelled them out at His last supper with His disciples.

If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. (John 14:15)

He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him. (John 14:21)

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. (John 15:10)

Do you see how closely His wording parallels the words God said to Israel? “If you keep My commandments…”  The commandments are the covenant terms…the covenant vows…the conditions on which the covenant relationship is based.

So what are the commandments Jesus was referring to? God gave Israel The Ten Commandments as their covenant vows.  What are Jesus’ commandments for the New Covenant?

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35)

This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:12-13)

Remember, this was the same meal at which Jesus enacted the New Covenant. It was also a Passover Meal…the remembrance meal of the Old Covenant…an annual renewal of Israel’s covenant with God.  In the last supper, Jesus simultaneously fulfilled the Old Covenant and enacted the New Covenant.

And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood.” (Luke 22:19-20)

At the same covenant meal, Jesus both declared the New Covenant and declared the covenant terms…a new commandment to accompany the new covenant.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

Jesus had previously explained very clearly the difference between those with whom He is in covenant and those with whom He is not in covenant…those whom He knows and those whom He “never knew”…those who keep His commandment and those who do not.

“But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.

“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” (Matthew 25: 31-46)

Israel had ten commandments…ten covenant vows. We have one…love one another as Christ has loved us.

God carved the commandments of the Old Covenant on stone tablets to be placed inside the Ark of the covenant. Where is the commandment of the New Covenant written and kept?

“But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the Lord, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. (Jeremiah 31:33)

The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us. (1 John 3:24)

Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge. (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)

The terms of our covenant with Christ…our New Commandment…the covenant vow of the New Covenant…is written in our hearts and sealed with the Holy Spirit who transforms us to His image, enabling us to keep our covenant vow. He gave us the commandment…and He gives us a new heart so we can keep the commandment.

The New Covenant is not, as many claim, an unconditional covenant. It is very much a conditional covenant and the conditions are clearly spelled out.  However, it is a covenant in which our covenant partner enables us to keep the vows through His transforming power.

What a wonderful Savior!

 

Your thoughts?

 

Rilian’s Dual Destinies

Posted on by
6

Prince Rilian of Narnia was a man with two destinies.

Two opposing prophecies had been spoken over Rilian…two opposing powers had predestined plans for his life.

In some ways the two destinies may seem similar…but they were actually polar opposites.

Prince Rilian was born son of King Caspian X and his wife, Lilliandil. As sole heir to the throne, Rilian was destined to become King of Narnia after Caspian.  He was expected to rule Narnia with kindness, justice and honor.

When Prince Rilian was twenty years old, his mother, Queen Lilliandil, was killed by a green serpent. In his grief, Rilian relentlessly pursued the serpent, seeking to avenge his mother’s death.  He spent extended periods hunting the serpent until one day he did not return, and many knights and champions were lost searching for him.

Two children from our world, Eustace Scrubb and Jill Pole, together with their guide Puddleglum the Marshwiggle, were sent by Aslan on a quest to find Prince Rilian. They eventually found the prince in Underland, in the depths of the earth below Narnia.  Initially they did not recognize the prince, and Rilian, himself, claimed to have no knowledge of Narnia, King Caspian, nor his own identity.

As they conversed with the prince, he told them:

…Sirs, I am a man under most strange afflictions, and none but the Queen’s grace would have had patience with me. Patience, said I?  But it goes far beyond that.  She has promised me a great kingdom in Overland and, when I am king, her own most gracious hand in marriage…

The land is already chosen and the very place of our breaking out. Her Earthmen have worked day and night digging a way beneath it, and have now gone so far and so high that they tunnel not a score of feet beneath the very grass on which the Updwellers of that country walk…

Then the thin roof of earth which keeps me from my kingdom will be broken through, and with her to guide me and a thousand Earthmen at my back, I shall ride forth in arms, fall suddenly on our enemies, slay their chief man, cast down their strong places, and doubtless be their crowned king within four and twenty hours.

The Queen of Underland turned out to be a witch who held Prince Rilian under an enchantment. The Overland country they planned to invade was Narnia, and the witch was the serpent who killed Rilian’s mother.

As Rilian said, after his enchantment was broken by killing the serpent, “All these years I have been the slave of my mother’s slayer.”

The witch offered Rilian a kingdom and her hand in marriage. While under her enchantment, that sounded to Rilian like a very nice destiny indeed.

In actuality, the kingdom was already his by birthright.

The ‘strong places’ they planned to throw down were actually Prince Rilian’s strong places. The ‘chief man’ he was to kill was his own father, King Caspian.

The witch offered Rilian nothing that wasn’t already rightfully his. Had he remained under her spell, Rilian would have usurped his own throne and ruled as the queen’s slave.  He would have attacked and defeated his own kingdom, ruling over it as a tyrant.

Two destinies…both as King of Narnia…

One destiny was to be the rightful king, ruling lawfully in honor, justice, and love.

The other destiny was to be a usurper of his own throne, murdering his own father, and ruling as a puppet-tyrant enslaved by the witch who murdered his mother.

Thankfully, he was delivered from the enchantment in time to choose the destiny of honor and justice.

The Bible tells a similar story of dual destinies.

God created man in his own image and placed them in authority over the earth, to rule over it.  Then the serpent came and tempted them to disobey God, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

They were already like God! Click To Tweet

God created Adam and Eve in His own image and had already placed them as rulers over all the earth.

The serpent offered them nothing that wasn’t already rightfully theirs. Click To Tweet

Much like Prince Rilian, the choice before Adam and Eve was whether they would rule as rightful rulers or whether they would usurp their own kingdom and become slaves of the serpent…ruling as the serpent’s puppet-tyrants.

Catastrophically, they chose the serpent’s enchantment.

As a result, we all inherit their dual destinies. Every one of us, as a descendant of Adam, are born with a dual destiny to become either a child of God or a slave of Satan.  This is the consequence of Adam and Eve’s sin which God warned of…this is the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil…this is what it means to be in covenant with good and in covenant with evil.

What about The Silver Chair from whence the book derives its name?

While under the witch’s enchantment, for one hour each day Prince Rilian was in his right mind and wished to be delivered.  Yet he was bound in a silver chair that held him captive until the hour of lucidity passed.

What is (or was) our silver chair? In those moments when the Holy Spirit penetrated the fog of our self-deception and willful blindness…when we saw with clarity how enslaved we were to our own sin…when we wished to be delivered to live a life of honor, justice and love…what kept us bound until the hour passed?

Could it have been our pride? Perhaps our love of things of this world? Our personal comfort? Misplaced loyalties? Anger? Bitterness? Unforgiveness? Discouragement? Fear?

We are all born with dual destinies. Click To Tweet

We have before us two covenants…a covenant with good…and a covenant with evil.

Two destinies…one choice…

Which destiny do you choose?  Are you ready to see your silver chair destroyed?

 

[Linked to Messy Marriage, Redeemed Life, Tell His Story ]

 

Life!

Posted on by
14

I don’t usually make a big deal about New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve never participated in the Word of the Year blogging trend.  New Year’s Day seems like a good time to start a goal with a twelve month cycle, such as reading through the Bible in a year.  However, most resolutions seem to me to be more applicable as daily life-style choices.

This New Year’s Day, however, I find myself very much contemplating lifestyle choices and what changes may be on the horizon.  It’s a matter of timing, really.  During the last two weeks of 2015 I received a cancer diagnosis and underwent two surgeries.  So, I am naturally starting 2016 with a certain level of new resolve.

In 2016…and every year thereafter, I choose life!

It’s not a new resolution…actually it’s been a daily choice for most of my life.  But current circumstances make it a fresher, newer, stronger resolution.

I’ve lived most my life with an awareness of both the brevity and fragility of this life.  Life is full of unknowns and unexpected turns.  We have much less control than we tend to assume.

The cancer diagnosis doesn’t change the unknowns, but it does put them front and center for me, right now.  My prognosis is very good.  I have every reason to expect a long, full active life after completion of treatment.  At the same time, there are numerous unknowns.

Right now, the right side of my lip sags, my right shoulder sags, and my right arm is weak.  No, it’s not a stroke…just post-surgery status.  Most likely, some or all of these symptoms will improve or disappear with time.  But there are no guarantees.  I’ve adopted an attitude of hopeful acceptance…I hope it improves, but see no reason to enjoy life any less if it doesn’t.

I still have radiation treatment coming up.  I don’t yet know exactly how that will play out…how often, how intense, how long, or how uncomfortable…nor what long-term effects may linger.  My intent is to make prayerful informed decisions then leave it in God’s hands.

I also don’t yet know what lifestyle changes may be required.  Advice from family and friends include everything from never drink another glass of wine to never eat another dessert…everything from slow down and taking things easier to throw myself into continual positively energetic activities.

Overall, I think I’ve lived a fairly healthy lifestyle thus far, and can’t see anything to point to as a source of cancer.  Post-diagnosis certainly merits more careful assessment.  I’m certainly willing to make whatever changes are likely to result in improved health.  I am not willing to live in unnecessary fear.

I choose life!

For me, choosing life means choosing Christ.  Jesus said,

I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? (John 11:25-26)

Yes, Lord, I believe!  I believe you are life.  I believe choosing you is choosing life.  I believe choosing life means choosing you.

I choose life! I choose Christ! Click To Tweet

I choose faith over fear.

I choose hope over despair.

I choose joy over sorrow.

I choose thankfulness over complaints.

I choose righteousness over sin.

I choose love over selfishness.

I choose forgiveness over bitterness.

I choose health over toxicity.

I choose life over death.

I choose godliness.

I reject Adam’s covenant with sin and death from which Christ has redeemed me.  I embrace the new covenant with God which Christ has enacted on my behalf.

I choose life!

 

Your thoughts?

Why I Speak Out

Posted on by
24

wedding band on open bible[This is a repost, with minor edits, of my guest blog on Dan Erickson’s site December, 2012.]

I am a Christian.  I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God.  I prescribe to a literal, conservative interpretation of God’s word.  I love studying biblical covenants and find a deep richness of covenant references throughout the Bible.  I view covenant as a common thread woven through both testaments, tying promises in Genesis to prophecies in Revelation.  I often describe our God as a covenant God for Whom all interactions with mankind are based on covenant.  Covenant relationships and the keeping of covenant vows are a very big deal to me.

So why does someone, with my background and convictions, write posts titled “Divorce is Sin…Says Who?”  “Free to Remarry,” “God of Divorce” and “The It-Takes-Two Lie”?

I have been accused, by people who don’t know my story, of trying to justify the divorce of my first marriage.

I have been asked, by people who do know my story, why I’ve felt compelled to change my perspective on biblical divorce.  “Joe,” they say, “you clearly had biblical grounds for divorce.  Your situation met the criteria of every exception clause as being permissible.  Why do you continue to search scriptures regarding marriage and divorce?”

And that’s just it.  My situation did meet the criteria of every “exception clause.”  I lived seventeen years in an abusive marriage to someone who intentionally and repeatedly inflicted deep emotional wounds, who seemed drawn to the intrigue of lies when the truth would have served her better, and for whom every word and action seemed designed to manipulate…even though I would have done anything for her without the need of manipulation.

Yet, I wasn’t seeking a divorce.  I wasn’t asking whether divorce was “permissible” or if my situation met the criteria of “exception clauses.”  My heart was not pursuing divorce.  My heart was pursuing a healthy marriage based on love and mutual trust.  My heart was pursuing a stable, loving environment for our family of four precious children.  My heart was pursuing what I understood to be God’s will for our family.

I wasn’t concerned with what was “permissible.”  I was only concerned with the relentless pursuit of God’s will and God’s best for our family.

My heart was broken…over and over again.  I was wounded and hurting, crying out to God for help and healing.

I saw many answers to prayer in that marriage….many miraculous softenings of her heart…many steps appearing to lead toward healing.

I also learned a lot about myself and improving communication.  The many counseling sessions were, in general, a healthy thing for me…and seemed a step in the right direction at the time.

And yet…each positive step turned out to be so temporary…

As the years passed, new lies surfaced, exposing deeper and more recent betrayals.  The lessons learned in counseling became tools used for the purpose of deceiving me further, while continuing to deeply wound me with betrayal of covenant vows.  New communication tools were used, not for strengthening relationship, but rather for giving the appearance of deepening intimacy while actually concealing deeper betrayals.

I prayed fervently and continuously.  Yet, as the passing of time continued to reveal ever deeper deceptions and betrayals, there was also a need to face the facts…to realize that no matter how much I wanted to see healing of the relationship, that might not be the end result.

One person in the relationship seeking God’s will is not enough for relational healing. Click To Tweet

The summer of 2000 was, for me, a time of intense prayer and fasting.  I was doing a lot of running, and as my feet wound out the miles, I continually begged God for healing.

“How long, Lord, must I wander in this wilderness of pain and trauma?  Please, Lord, I need your healing touch.  My heart is broken.  My marriage is broken.  My soul is crushed.  Lord, I don’t know what to do.  Please, Lord, lead me out of this wilderness into a place of healing!”

And I began to hear God’s answer…softly at first…then stronger and more persistent, “Go in and possess the land” (Joshua 1:11).

“Lord, you can’t mean that!  You know how many times I’ve been deceived and how deeply I’ve been wounded!  You want me to put aside all my legitimate fears and act as though my marriage and heart are healed?  That’s crazy!  It makes no sense!”

And yet, I felt His consistent prompting, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be discouraged or dismayed.  Go in and possess the land.”

I recalled the many stories of God’s miraculous work.  I was heartened that perhaps this is what God was going to do in my marriage.  Perhaps, this was my Jordan River to cross before seeing God’s miraculous victories!

So, I asked Him, “Lord, are you saying you’re going to heal my marriage?  That her heart will be changed toward me and our relationship will be restored?”

“Go in and possess the land.”

“Lord, what does that mean?  You want me to make myself vulnerable with no promise from you?  You never did that in the Bible!  You always gave a promise when asking for obedience in difficult circumstances.  Lord, what is your promise to me, today?”

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be discouraged or dismayed, and the Lord, Your God, will be with you, wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

So I began, once again, to change my attitude and behavior toward her.  I began to draw in my boundaries and lower my defenses.  I dropped the wait-and-see attitude I’d held since the last major betrayal, and began, yet again, to actively pursue her heart.

And she responded by withdrawing further.

Over the course of that next year, as I attempted to open up toward her, she drew further back from me.  I still faced each new issue head-on, refusing to sweep anything under the rug, wanting true healing of our relationship.  I was actively engaging in the relationship while refusing to side-step or ignore any known issues.  Finally, one evening while discussing a recent issue, she asked for a divorce, saying, “I just don’t want to do this anymore.”

There were still a lot of steps toward healing.  God was faithful through the divorce and later custody battles.  Not every battle was victorious from my perspective, but He continued to lead me and guide me…and to comfort and heal me.

A counselor asked me once, “You do realize, don’t you, that there is absolutely nothing you could have done differently to prevent this divorce?”

“Yes, I can see that.”

“And you do understand,” he continued, “that the divorce had nothing to do with you, personally?  That no matter who she married, it would have ended in divorce?”

“Yes, I can see that, too.  Thank you!”

And that’s the thing…the thing that so few Christians really understand…that I did not understand, myself, before experiencing it.

The health and longevity of a relationship cannot be determined by one individual.  Yes, we must each do our own part and be willing to love sacrificially.  Yet, no amount of sacrificial love, by one party, can ensure a healthy or lasting relationship.

In a marriage, we are each responsible for wholeheartedly living out our covenant vows in faithfulness, for the duration of that covenant.  However, neither partner is responsible for the longevity of the covenant.

I entered that marriage as an idealistic young man, believing if I loved deeply enough, believed strongly enough, prayed fervently enough, somehow God would always intervene to heal and restore the marriage relationship.

I learned, although God is always faithful to His promises, He does not violate human free will.  If one marriage partner refuses to surrender their will to Him, He will not force them to…and the marriage will not be healed.

I learned divorce is not always outside God’s will.  Rather, in many situations, divorce is God’s direct and perfect will.

In my case, God asked me to follow a difficult path of obedience.  That path did not lead to the marital restoration I hoped for.  Rather, it led toward further hardening of her heart, resulting in divorce.

God redeemed me from that marriage of abusive bondage in much the same way He redeemed Israel from their covenant with Pharaoh.  That divorce was a part of God’s perfect plan for my life, just as surely as deliverance from Egypt was part of His perfect plan for the nation of Israel.

God has used these experiences to drastically change my view of His heart toward His children who are enslaved in covenants of abusive bondage, or who have experienced divorce.  In recent years, I have become more outspoken about my views on these topics.

I’m speaking out, not to justify my own actions, nor because of emotional pain or bitterness in regard to that marriage.

My actions in that marriage and divorce don’t require justification, and I am now happily married to a godly woman, with whom I enjoy raising and loving children and grandchildren.

I’m speaking out against a system of biblically unsubstantiated myths regarding divorce believed by many Christians, today.

These myths lead to legalistic judgmental attitudes toward God’s children who have experienced divorce or who are currently enslaved in an abusive marriage.  They hold Christians in bondage and do not reflect God’s heart of love and redemption.

I speak out in an attempt to shine the light of God’s truth and hope in an area of blindness within the church.

I speak out in the hope someone in an abusive marriage will understand, in some situations, divorce is God’s perfect will and the godliest course of action.

In some situations, divorce is God’s perfect will and the godliest course of action. Click To Tweet

I speak out in the hope someone who has experienced divorce will better understand God’s heart of redemption and will draw closer to His heart of love.

Who do you know in need of encouragement through divorce?

 

[Linked to Messy Marriage, Wild Flowers, Wellspring, Redeemed Life, Tell His Story ]

 

Dear Anna Duggar

Posted on by
27

An open letter to Anna Duggar…and to others finding themselves in similar situations…

Dear Anna Duggar,

You don’t know me and I don’t know you or Josh.  I have, however, frequently thought of you and prayed for you over the past few weeks, as the daily news has dissected your marital relationship while exposing Josh’s infidelities.

According to reporters, your friends say “Anna will not leave him,” “She is fully and permanently committed to her marriage and her children,” and “Divorce is not even something that will be discussed.”  Your friend reportedly went on to say that you will try “on some level” to “absorb some of the blame…Maybe not publicly, ever, but privately, there will be some suggestion of whether or not she should have been more aware of the pressures Josh was under, of the issues he was facing, and how she could have better counseled him or helped him.”

Anna, your decisions and struggles during this time are yours alone, and I (a complete stranger) would not be so brazen as to attempt to tell you what decisions are right for you in this situation.

I want you to know my heart breaks for you.

I have some idea of the pain and confusion you must be experiencing, because I have faced similar situations.  Like you, I was raised believing that marriage is godly while divorce is ungodly…that divorce is always the fault of both parties…that God hates divorce…and that divorce is not an option for a true Christian.  And like you, I was faced with the reality of a repeatedly unfaithful spouse.  Although that marriage eventually ended in divorce, for many years I held the position your friend reportedly says you hold.  Determined to choose what I believed was the most godly course…to do what I believed was best for my family…I repeatedly renewed and restored fellowship, determined to avoid divorce.

My prayer for you is that you will learn of God’s grace through divorce more quickly than I did.  I pray the Holy Spirit will guide your reading of scripture and open your heart to understand God’s tremendous heart of grace and redemption toward His children who are in a covenant relationship with an oath breaker.  For your sake and the sake of your children, I pray you will at least seriously contemplate the possibility that divorce may be your best and most godly course of action.

I don’t know if divorce is the best choice for you.  How could I?  I do know you have some very difficult decisions before you.  I do know there is no easy path before you…that whether you choose divorce or reconciliation your path is filled with sorrow and anguish.  Divorce at least limits the anguish to a finite period of time allowing you and your children to heal and get on with life.  Reconciliation to an unrepentant adulterer is a path of never-ending pain and sorrow…lies continually renewed with freshly broken vows.

And therein lies the wrestling with your most difficult question, “Is Josh truly repentant?”

Your instinct will likely be (as reported by your friend) to believe he is truly repentant…because believing otherwise turns your entire life upside down.  And maybe he is…only God knows.

I pray you at least consider the very real possibility Josh may not be truly repentant…that he may go right back to the same traitorously adulterous behavior.  As harsh as that reality is to face, it is a very real possibility meriting serious exploration before making final decisions in regard to you and your children’s welfare.  Josh has repeatedly proven himself to be completely untrustworthy and entirely willing to egregiously violate his sacred marriage vows, fully realizing both the pain that causes you and your children as well the damage inflicted on your relationship.  Josh did not unintentionally ‘fall’ into an adulterous relationship with an acquaintance…rather he used the internet to actively seek out and pursue adultery.  To now take his word at face value would be neither wisdom nor faith.  Rather, it would be a refusal to accept reality.  Choosing to fully trust the proven untrustworthy is not inviting God into the situation.  Rather it is shutting the full reality of the situation out of the decision making process.

I pray you will not allow yourself to carry the burden of Josh’s guilt.  To do so is both unhealthy and unbiblical.  Yes, I’m sure you have made mistakes yourself.  That does not make you responsible for Josh’s sin.  There is a huge difference between unintentional minor mistakes and intentional egregious violations of sacred covenant vows.

Finally, my prayer for you is that God will use even this experience for your good and for His glory.  That whether this marriage is renewed or ends in divorce, you will learn God’s faithfulness in all of life’s circumstances.  I pray you will emerge from this with a deeper understanding of God’s heart of love and redemption and a fuller grace toward all of His children.

May God continue to richly bless and keep you, now and through eternity.

 

Sincerely,

Your brother in Christ, Joseph J. Pote

 

[Linked to Messy Marriage, Wild Flowers, Wellspring, Redeemed Life, Tell His Story ]

Condemned or Redeemed?

Gallery

Posted on by

This past week, I was reminded anew how arrogantly self-righteous and legalistic church leaders can be in dealing with situations of abuse. Persistent Widow, at A Cry for Justice, has been posting her story of escape from abuse and her … Continue reading →

God of Divorce

Gallery

Posted on by

And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. (Jeremiah … Continue reading →

The One Ring

Gallery

Posted on by

This gallery contains 1 photo.

Over the holidays I’ve gotten back into the JRR Tolkien spirit by watching the Lord of the Rings (LOTR) movie series again. As usual, I find rich metaphors in Tolkien’s writing…and hope you’ll indulge my sharing some with you… The … Continue reading →